Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
