u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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