sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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