shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize