Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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