Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I understand Curling. That high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
