i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
