So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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