this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
