My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
