just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
