What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
In America we eat man semen.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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