he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
