i think my tv is drunk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
