i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
