You're so nebulous sometimes
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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