I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
