You're so nebulous sometimes
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
time to smoke my breakfast
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
