So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
