His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
