who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude i'm inner monologue high
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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