BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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