I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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