I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
