i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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