At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
did i walk over a car last night?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize