hotel room ftw
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
