So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
