Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Let's get the cat blown out
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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