I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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