It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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