when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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