We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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