yo everyone went to the hospital last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
