make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
