I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
