Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
