He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
