Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
