Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Randomize