Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i dont even know how to be here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
