Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
