honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize