I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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