I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We left the knife in your bed.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
