A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
