too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
