absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
