dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
