they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
