escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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