i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I pour the whiskey from now on
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
