My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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