you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
