Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
