haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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