my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am available for nakedness
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
