I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
