he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
