We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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